Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Life as a Personal Aide

Earlier this week -- like yesterday -- I had a conversation about home health aides with a friend who has recently entered this crazy system of so-called care.

This, in turn, prompted me to think about how I've been going about this aide thing all wrong. You do know that a huge part of my life (that I cannot imagine being without) involves assisting Ruth, aka Wheelie Catholic, right? I've written about this before.

I might start writing more about this because we have so many noteworthy adventures. For example, I recently had to explain how to get much-needed wheelchair parts more quickly. The parts, I was told by the vendor, were coming from "all the way across the country." I suggested the dealer might be commanded to use an overnight delivery service.

Okay, so maybe I'm a genius when it comes to using the phone but what about my onsite performance? After a bit of research into what other aides accomplish, I decided to discuss my key concerns with Ruth. In addition to being the Boss of Me, she has a lot more experience in these matters.

"I love the kitty apron but I think I should be wearing a uniform."

"One of those smocky things? You didn't want one."

"No, I just didn't want one with bunnies or puppies. I wanted one with cats."

"What else?"

"Well, I think I should probably be more like other aides and watch TV while you struggle to eat something in the kitchen."

"You're forgetting to demand gas money and that I order in an entire pizza for you."

"Oh, okay. Could I get anchovies with that?"