Thursday, April 9, 2009

Triduum Try This at Home Guide

Although the Triduum -- Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Vigil -- is an especially important time to participate in Christian community (aka, Body of Christ), you may also observe it at home. For years I've made an effort to mirror beloved customs and liturgical activities in my domestic church. On this Maundy Thursday, I'm happy to share my Triduum Try This at Home Guide.

Holy (Maundy) Thursday at home:
  • Strip religious chotchkes from all walls and surfaces.
  • Give someone a pedicure.
  • Meditate on all the events leading up to the Crucifixion, especially the scene at Gethsemane without dozing off like those slacker disciples.
Good Friday at home:
  • Don't eat.
  • Don't talk.
  • Choose from among the approximately 3,381 Requiems as background music for the day.
  • Switch your lights on and off at 3:00 PM.
  • Slam doors.
Preparation for Easter Vigil if you're going to church: Take 10 mgs. of Loratadine approximately two hours before arriving to offset the olfactory impact of lilies.

Easter Vigil at home:
  • Get Baptismal and Confirmation candles out of the freezer where they've been stored.
  • Take a bath while wrapped in a shmatteh and reciting your baptismal promises.
  • Take 10 mgs. of Loratadine.
  • Circa 1:00 am, sing the Hallelujah chorus while restoring your religious chotchkes and filling your home with lilies.