Friday, June 5, 2009

The Ex Files: Revelation

Turns out, other ex-wives do not hesitate to call their ex-husbands for any number of reasons.

These reasons include but are not limited to checking the pilot light on the furnace (not in the former marital home); walking the dogs (not at the former marital home); dropping off gardening tools (from the former marital home); and getting the car serviced (no longer in joint ownership). Other ex-wives call to whimper about dating. They call for advice about managing monies they received through the QUDRO.

Strange but true: children were not involved in any of these real life examples. That's right, no chin-quivering kids around to convince that Mommy and Daddy have finally mustered some mutual positive regard.

Nor do these examples include best-of-friends who just couldn't be married but really get along great now that they're divorced. Nope, I'm talking about divorced couples who still refer to their exes with disdain. Nevertheless, the ex-wife calls "that bastard" for assistance and advice; the ex-husband assists and advises "that bitch." I can't decide which behavior I find most astonishing, the ex-wife's nerve or the ex-husband's lack thereof.

I've been married and divorced twice. Other than during the occasional nightmare, I don't have contact with either ex-husband. Heck, I even petitioned the Roman Catholic church for -- and received -- a declaration of nullity in both marriages. In fact, the annulment process revealed just how damaged and damaging those relationships were from the get-go.

I don't call either ex-husband for help or advice. Ever. I'm thinking this makes me either the best ex-wife on the planet -- or the stupidest.