Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Fearing Fear Itself

I went directly to bed but not directly to sleep after uploading my most recent post. My guts were tied in Eagle Scout-level knots.

Since I'm in a confessional frame of mind, I'll admit that I (briefly) considered disallowing reader comments. I feared what might get lobbed at me, although I probably shouldn't have worried. Readers who think I'm a bad Catholic who barely qualifies as Christian, have long since removed my blog from their RSS feed. Still, this didn't stop me from going to sleep feeling queasy.

It also didn't stop me from having a teeny panic attack when comments from two anonymous readers arrived this morning. Anonymous? Usually a bad sign. Bad and scary.

As it turned out, the comments were supportive, one nicely asking me to "please do more." I haven't yet figured out what that "more" might be, although I'm pretty clear that fearing fear is getting in the way.

4 comments:

St Edwards Blog said...

I pray for your fear to dissolve - you have such talent. And such faith!

God bless you always dear Meredith, always.

Fran

Meredith Gould said...

Thanks, Fran. Your blog post provided a beacon of much needed light this morning. Bless you!

Anonymous said...

Meredith, you have nothing to fear but the fear.... and yes, I know it's not original! Your blogs are honest and always from the heart. I had known about Dr. Tiller's practice for many years. My prayers were not answered by his murder. Now my heart bleeds for his family, but is healed by our courage to also denounce his murder. I never condemned Dr. Tiller, I don't condemn his killer. God has that privaledge, not me. I pray for his killer now... because he too had his reason, however misguided and thwarted. In the end, all of this killing stems from man thinking he's in control. (Let go and let God.) I can only pray that some members of our government would read our blogs and listen to OUR passionate messages. Perhaps "doing more" means to appeal to governing powers not just condemn the murder of Dr.Tiller but the murder of our children, God's children. I know this is a line in the sand that many are not willing to cross. Maybe this is what annonymous was asking when saying "do more". Are you our voice? Is perhaps this another book? I for one am hoping so!

Heather {Desperately Seeking} said...

I'm glad you didn't succumb to the fear. It would have not been the Meredith that I have come to know and admire in this brief time that I've known you for being frank, stating your opinion, etc.

But your blog is where you are able to openly state how you feel. If people don't like it... oh well. Tell them to start their own blog. :D

H