Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Fearing Fear Itself

I went directly to bed but not directly to sleep after uploading my most recent post. My guts were tied in Eagle Scout-level knots.

Since I'm in a confessional frame of mind, I'll admit that I (briefly) considered disallowing reader comments. I feared what might get lobbed at me, although I probably shouldn't have worried. Readers who think I'm a bad Catholic who barely qualifies as Christian, have long since removed my blog from their RSS feed. Still, this didn't stop me from going to sleep feeling queasy.

It also didn't stop me from having a teeny panic attack when comments from two anonymous readers arrived this morning. Anonymous? Usually a bad sign. Bad and scary.

As it turned out, the comments were supportive, one nicely asking me to "please do more." I haven't yet figured out what that "more" might be, although I'm pretty clear that fearing fear is getting in the way.