Thursday, May 13, 2010

Twitter Brings Out the Best

Last night after Compline with the Virtual Abbey, I had a lively exchange with a few community members about the glories of mayonnaise. (Also broccoli, but never mind about that.)

I specified Hellmann's Real Mayonnaise, of course. Is there any other kind? Really, there isn't. I consider store-branded mayonnaise more life-threatening than non-FDA approved generic drugs from India. As for Miracle Whip, definitely not mayonnaise. It's even labeled "dressing," so I've never understood why anyone would try passing it off as anything else. (Insert insensitive and inappropriate comment about people not-from-New York here.)

Twelve hours later, I received a message letting me know that @Hellmanns had started following me on Twitter. Is cyberspace a great country or what? I immediately followed them back. I have, after all, been under the thrall of the One True Mayonnaise since the mid-1950s.

Hey, I may not remember what I had for breakfast this morning, but I can easily conjure up the gustatory memory of metal locker-warmed, wax paper-wrapped, brown-bagged bologna sandwiches made with heart-stopping amounts of Hellmann's Real Mayonnaise. As for my cholesterol levels, they're just fine, thankyouverymuch.


  1. Thought about you tonight as I ate Hellman's light Mayo on my onion rings!!! Raised in Central Pennsylvani, on Miracle Whip, I didn't know what real mayonnaise was till I moved to DC. Then I saw the light! Thanks for reminding us of the true joys of life.. and congrats on getting @Hellmanns to follow you. I hope they realize what they're getting themselves in to!

  2. Bring out the Best Foods and bring out the best. (An homage to those of us who lived most of our lives west of the Rockies).

  3. Can samples be far behind?

    The aroma of Hellmann's mayonnaise-d tuna sandwiches is inextricably linked with my memories of Fridays in my Catholic elementary school in the early '60s. The pre-Vatican II madeleine.

  4. Hoping for samples, Regina. Maybe I should pray a novena for that to happen?!?

  5. Meredith, I wouldn't advise you move to Australia, they have no idea what real mayonnaise tastes like. After growing up in England with Hellmans in the pantry, the last 5 years worth of sandwiches have been mayonnaise free :(


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