Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Life as a Clergy Wife

Might be time to start writing about being a clergy wife. The politically correct moniker is, of course, clergy spouse but that screws with the rhyme and rhythm of this headline: Life as a Clergy Wife.

My public musing about blogging on this topic brought immediate enthusiastic feedback from Twitter-based wags. The broadly ecumenical response included this from a Catholic pal, "ex-seminarians would love to hear your side of the story!!!" (Exclamation points all his.)

For a while I wondered if I'd have anything to say on the subject. After all, my husband isn't a parish priest or rector or vicar. He's a canon (Episcopal church equivalent of a Catholic church monsignor) who serves on a bishop's staff and goes to work at a diocesan center every day.  And while he does seem to be stuck blessed with "Sunday supply" a lot, I'm neither expected nor required to attend.* Nevertheless, a whole new world of twisted identity has opened up. Woo-hoo!

Being married to a priest sure is -- how shall I put it -- interesting. Stay tuned for more. I'm tempted to begin by writing about shopping for clothes. His, I mean . . . his.

*Does that make me a crappy clergy wife? I feel a blog post coming on about the unexpectedly poignant experience of the first time I witnessed my husband preside and preach.


  1. My husband confessed, after he saw a tape of me delivering a sermon in my preaching class during seminary, that he had no idea I could do that. Given that we'd known each other for 20 years, he was kind of embarrassed. But I understood - I had no idea I could do that, either.

  2. Penny: Definitely going to write about The First Time in the pews with Dan in the pulpit (more like center aisle).

  3. Should be good knowing the wit you will bring to it.

    It reminds me of a play I saw some years back which was about a Church of England vicar's wife.
    (Can't remember the title but it might have been by Alan Bennett)

    Although she had no official role in her husband's work she helped out in the sacristy and ended up being confidant and counsellor to all the other women who worked for the church who felt neglected.

    The best scene was when she and another woman ended up breaking into the altar wine cupboard and getting totally blathered.


  4. Dan "the groom" WebsterMay 3, 2012 at 7:33 AM

    Soooooo looking forward to future blogs on this subject.

  5. More please!More More Meredith Gould on Life as a Clergy Wife.

    I can think of many adjectives that might describe your wifehood, but not crappy! Although it does rhyme with happy!

  6. So, I wrote a funny poem, (well it was to me) three stanzas long...pushed the wrong button, and now it's all gone.

    Sure glad marriage is better than technology. Oh Wait...let me rethink that. ahhhh....hmmm. clergy's, well. Gotta go

  7. I was a clergy spouse for 37 years and one day a parishioner said to me and you can imagine the tone, "You certainly don't fit the mold of a pastor's wife." My response was "Thank you very much."


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