Saturday, June 9, 2012

Restlessness Seems to be Trending

Thanks to Twitter, I recently stumbled upon Thom Turner's (@EverydayLiturgy) post, Restlessness is Godliness.  Reading his post helped me name what I'm feeling these days.

Whoo-hoo self-discovery! Turns out that underneath my disappointment, manifested as disgust with the institutional Church (Roman Catholic version), is a deeper restlessness that has nearly stopped me from moving forward with anything.

Underscore: nearly.

At this age and stage of my life, moving forward is deeply grooved into my way of being as well as doing. I'll be curious to see if that changes after I'm released from Earth Duty.

I know that my current restlessness has to do with impending changes, or at least adjustments to  identity and purpose. And I know that God has a plan. It's the waiting that's so killer, even though I also know that waiting is, in and of itself, a spiritual practice.

Meanwhile, I'm finding comfort in this reminder:



"Our heart is restless until it finds its rest in You . . ."
Saint Augustine of Hippo


4 comments:

Sue Mosher said...

I put myself into the change cauldron a few years ago and was shocked at the degree to which waiting was part of the essential recipe. Every time I had even the flutter of an inclination toward anything other than waiting, something would come along that felt like a gentle, divine slap of my hand.

The good news is that once I was aware that the need to wait had abated, my heart was quiet enough to listen well to the messages all around me that led to a new calling. So, it might help to hold onto the thought that, whatever you're being prepared for, this period of restless waiting is part of that preparation.

Meredith Gould said...

Sue: love the "change cauldron" image. You're right, of course. And there's lots of scripture about "waiting on the Lord." Maybe I should get one of those verses tattooed onto the back of my hands, where I can see it while typing?

Lynda said...

I am learning to wait more or less patiently in my restlessness to see where God is directing. I retired about a year ago but I find it amazing where the decision to retire has led. I am grateful that I am learning to wait as God reveals God's plan a little at a time although it has taken a lifetime of learning which is still continuing!

Meredith Gould said...

Lynda: I have a friend who keeps pointing out that I'm essentially semi-retired. This is shocking to me because I don't think of myself that way at all, possibly because I work with online media and don't have to go to anyone's office every day?

But your comment, combined with her observation, has me thinking that I may -- just may -- be in denial about what this stage of my life is supposed to be about.

More will be revealed; always is!