Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Life As a Clergy Wife: Toting Along My Own Chaplain

I'll do anything to goose the healthcare system into being responsive to healthcare needs -- mine and those of others.

Until now, I've relied almost exclusively on my vast and frequently horrific personal experiences as a patient and caregiver. These have made me a fierce advocate for patients' rights. As a result, I'm fearless about demanding to see my health records, get copies of tests, and making doctors take off all their clothes if I have to take off all of mine. 

Kidding about that last thing. Not kidding about squelching the unequal first-name-basis thing. "It's 'Dr. Gould,'" I say, muttering "neuro-proctology" under my breath.

I've recently added Collar Power to my tools and tactics. What the hell, my husband is already dressed for work, he may as well stay in that outfit while accompanying me on medical adventures. Folks seem to get really weirded out if he's wearing a Roman-type notched collar with a black shirt instead of an Anglican-type "dog collar" with a colored or striped shirt. Winning!

He no longer notices the looks his clerical collar generates. I do. I notice an amusing (for me) mix of deference and anxiety and then curiosity when they realize he's with me.

I don't tell him to do this, but he always tends stand behind me with great solemnity. I don't check, but I'm pretty sure he stays in role whenever he hears me say:

"And I've brought my own chaplain, in case you really screw up."