I love that people feel comfortable enough to talk with me about switching parishes. I don't love hearing about what has motivated their desire to move, especially stories about soul-wounding injuries that could've been healed by heartfelt outreach and authentic amends.And it grieves me no end to encounter good Catholics who would rather stop attending Mass altogether than get permission to switch parishes from the priest who prompted their exodus to begin with. Do laity need a permission slip to change parishes? I decided to check this out because I remember when switching to another parish was considered a criminal offense that could not be mitigated by praying the Rosary.
One of my deacon pals told me that while parishes and dioceses have specific boundaries which folks are canonically required to honor, "pastorally, the Church doesn't enforce these boundaries on people making choices as to where they worship."
He then reminded me about how the Tribunal actually whipped out a map to check my county of residence before proceeding with my annulment petitions. I happen to live in one of the few zip codes coveted by New Jersey residents and reside almost exactly equidistant between two parishes that were once part of the same diocese.
As a matter of fact, I switched parishes this past year after a protracted painful period of discernment. On the bright side, I believe this explains why I've had so many conversations on this topic by phone, via email, and in the salty crunchy snack aisle of the local World Class ShopRite.
For the record, please note that I do not offer one-size-fits-all counsel. In some instances, I'm able stick to my "grow where you're planted" position. In others, I say it's easier to switch than fight. When the move involves kids, I talk about what is the message being delivered. In nearly all instances, I'm reminded of this adage heard in the rooms of twelve step recovery: "The Church is the only army that shoots its own wounded." How sad is that?
