I specified Hellmann's Real Mayonnaise, of course. Is there any other kind? Really, there isn't. I consider store-branded mayonnaise more life-threatening than non-FDA approved generic drugs from India. As for Miracle Whip, definitely not mayonnaise. It's even labeled "dressing," so I've never understood why anyone would try passing it off as anything else. (Insert insensitive and inappropriate comment about people not-from-New York here.)
Twelve
hours later, I received a message letting me know that @Hellmanns had started following me on Twitter. Is cyberspace a great country or what? I immediately followed them back. I have, after all, been under the thrall of the One True Mayonnaise since the mid-1950s.Hey, I may not remember what I had for breakfast this morning, but I can easily conjure up the gustatory memory of metal locker-warmed, wax paper-wrapped, brown-bagged bologna sandwiches made with heart-stopping amounts of Hellmann's Real Mayonnaise. As for my cholesterol levels, they're just fine, thankyouverymuch.
