Thursday, December 20, 2012

Finding Sleep, The Final Frontier

We're going back for round two! 

This time we're bringing sleep aids!

I can think of other ways to spend Shabbat, but looks like I'll be back tomorrow night for another round at the optimistically-named Sleep Solutions. This time it's to try out CPAP (Continuous positive airway pressure) options in anticipation of having my very own machinery. Woohoo!

Although I was not happy to be informed about the snoring (so unattractive), I'm thrilled to finally get a dx for the apnea. Ever the overachiever, I don't just have ho-hum obstructive sleep apnea. I also have central sleep apnea. This is, of course, a "rarer form" and "often seen in nursing homes and among the ill."

Is anyone surprised? I am not, although I always framed my interludes of not breathing as evidence of my advanced level of attainment as a yogini -- a mash-up of pranayama and pratyahara on the way to samadhi.

What the...?  Oh, you don't know about my yoga years?!?

Meanwhile, back on the Earth Plane it all adds up to Mixed Sleep Apnea, which means finding the right mask and pressure solution will be a challenge. Of course.

Even more challenging? Another night of dealing with the sleep center's decor.

I didn't mind the goop in my hair or the 21 wire leads all over my body. The color of the room? Heinous. And the placement of the bed was a major feng shui faux pas.

I told the owner I really wanted to rearrange everything. She laughed. We'll see who's laughing on Monday because I'm pretty sure I can talk Tim the Tech into helping me move furniture by letting him hold Mr. Oatmeal.