Sunday, July 17, 2011

Wedding: Ring Thing

Did I want an engagement ring? No, I absolutely did not. Waste of money. Outward visible sign of impending servitude. Am I referring to this engagement for this marriage? No, I am not.

That scenario, hauled out of the memory banks, is from my first marriage. That would be the marriage I had while also teaching Sociology of the Family, Women and Men in Society, Sexuality and Society, and Social Theory in a Sociology department, as well as a fine course on Rabble Rousing 101 over at Women's Studies. Ah, fond memories of stomping up 6th Avenue (NYC), fist-in-air, chanting, "Two, four, six, eight...smash the family, church and state."

If God could throw a holy lung laughing, God is throwing a holy lung laughing as I now prepare to marry an Episcopal priest. And wear an engagement ring that was once his mother's.

Oh gets even more preciously ironic. I was moved to tears when Dan asked if I would "be okay with" wearing his mother's engagement ring.

Now, lest you think I've gone completely off the rails, I will mention that I did take the engagement ring to my jeweler to have the stone lowered ("it's too prongy") and sized. By the 21st century, I realized that I could retain several cherished political views and have a diamond ring. Another revelation: I could buy my own diamond ring, which is exactly what I did to celebrate my 50th birthday and at five year intervals thereafter.

Sometimes I stack my engagement ring on top of the other bling, but often I do not. I like looking at it solo on my left ring finger and not because it's so pretty -- which it certainly is -- but because of what it symbolizes.

It's 2011 and at this point in my life, this engagement ring serves as an outward visible sign of our commitment to enter into the sacrament of holy matrimony. No shortage of mystery and miracle in my life, that's for sure.


  1. Thrilled for your happiness Meredith.

  2. Love this post and love both of you. Beautiful.

  3. Meredith, I'm very happy for you!!!!!!!!
    I sent your blog to Jo and Deena. They will be thrilled. When is the wedding?

  4. You are the very embodiment of transformation... that and so much more!

    I loved reading this!

  5. Meredith -- That's a wonderful story!...especially the provenance of the ring Around two years ago when my brotherwas about to move to France and marry his now wife, Merry suggested that we offer him our late mom's diamond engagement ring, which we had at home. It consisted of two diamonds set together in what I think is a band of white gold, and the diamonds had originally been earrings that my dad's mom gave to him to make into a ring for his bride when they married in the 1930's.

  6. I love reading your posts about your journey to the altar. God must get such a kick out of you! Everyone who reads your posts gets to partake in that devine delight.

  7. I learned very early how to disassociate my radical feminist self from my love of the "material world." No one lives without contradictions. So, get all the pleasure you can out of your gorgeous ring, and if it has true spiritual meaning behind it, so much the better! My heart overflows with joy for you and Dan.

  8. It's really great to see how love and being loved plus the wisdom of age fuse together to produce something uniquely wild and wonderful -it's only love that can hold so many tensions and keep us whole. Thank you for such inspiration post.

  9. Loving the comments that everyone is posting. Early on I said to Dan, "Don't feel used, but thanks for providing material for my next book, And Then, I Married a Priest " He looked a bit nervous. I have no idea why.

  10. There really is only one thing to say: Mazel Tov!


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