Monday, February 15, 2010

Pope Mounts Vatican Sex Summit

Although it was announced weeks ago, until now there hasn't been another peep from the pope about meeting with Irish bishops. They've been summoned talk about the grotesque magnitude of persistent sexual abuse within the Irish church.

The Vatican Sex Summit is currently taking place behind closed doors. According to one news report, each bishop will have seven minutes to speak. If my calculations are correct, this adds up to a "chapter of faults" lasting nearly three hours. No information about what these men will be doing during the rest of their time together.

I, of course, have a suggestion, one based on a decade of experience teaching Sexuality and Society to college juniors and seniors. Please note that my professorial career took place during a time of relative innocence and no shortage of ignorance about sexuality.

For example, I couldn't begin discussing the sociology of sexual identity, behavior, or preference without first teaching basic anatomy and physiology. This included teaching the correct spelling for esoteric terms like "penus." I mention this because given their median age, I figure the Irish bishops are probably as knowledgeable about sex as my former students.

And so, I suggest the bishops be allowed to play with anatomically correct dolls and observed while doing so. For how long? Oh, maybe eight hours? Surely that should be enough time for qualified sex educators to assess the bishops' baseline knowledge and speculate what might have been going on. Behind closed doors.


  1. The post title is priceless... the post sadly says it all.

    Seven minutes???

  2. I feel for the survivors but the Catholic Church needs to pay - financially and morally. What is it - 7 minute confession and then the sins are gone - forgiven and forgotten like the files in the vault... Wht about the 30,000 plus kids who lost their childhoods if they survived the horrors. This evil just haunts me. Religion and blind faith have destroyed our world and so many is hard to remember how faith has saved many lives, too. I am agnostic posting on a Jewish site. I just feel devastated and powerless over this.

  3. Wow. And I'm doing my best not to read more into the title of your post. Thank you for the visual; it wil be seared into my brain as I go about my day.

  4. As someone accused of a Freudian slip recently, I would not only MOUNT a protest, but a PEEP at your opening sentence might indicate your own slip is showing. . . ;-)

  5. Oh you really think those words appeared by accident?!? (Ever the model of decorum and restraint, I deleted my reference to the upcoming summit.)

  6. Meredith--Of course not, but Since you are the Word Goddess of the Universe, you could never actually make a mistake!!

  7. I hope you will send your resume to the Vatican!


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