Can't Make This Up: I confess to Almighty God...

but probably not to you . . .

Photo taken at the Roman Catholic Cathedral of Mary Our Queen in Baltimore, MD.

Pope Mounts Vatican Sex Summit

Although it was announced weeks ago, until now there hasn't been another peep from the pope about meeting with Irish bishops. They've been summoned talk about the grotesque magnitude of persistent sexual abuse within the Irish church.

The Vatican Sex Summit is currently taking place behind closed doors. According to one news report, each bishop will have seven minutes to speak. If my calculations are correct, this adds up to a "chapter of faults" lasting nearly three hours. No information about what these men will be doing during the rest of their time together.

I, of course, have a suggestion, one based on a decade of experience teaching Sexuality and Society to college juniors and seniors. Please note that my professorial career took place during a time of relative innocence and no shortage of ignorance about sexuality.

For example, I couldn't begin discussing the sociology of sexual identity, behavior, or preference without first teaching basic anatomy and physiology. This included teaching the correct spelling for esoteric terms like "penus." I mention this because given their median age, I figure the Irish bishops are probably as knowledgeable about sex as my former students.

And so, I suggest the bishops be allowed to play with anatomically correct dolls and observed while doing so. For how long? Oh, maybe eight hours? Surely that should be enough time for qualified sex educators to assess the bishops' baseline knowledge and speculate what might have been going on. Behind closed doors.

Valentine's Day, 2010

"There is no fear in love."

1 John 4:18

I Confess

I was given two "Our Fathers" and two "Hail Marys" for penance earlier today. That's right, I went to Confession today on sort of my own volition. I say "sort of" because it wasn't a Saturday afternoon, Lent is long over and it's not even close to Advent.

But something in the homily during today's noon Mass inspired me to ask the (visiting) priest if he had time to hear my Confession, so according to my calculations:

Something + Sort Of = Holy Spirit

At some point, I'll probably write about my latest Confession. It was interesting in the way it always is when I let the Holy Spirit call me to reconciliation. Right now I'm fixated on whether there's a statute of limitations on completing this penance.

Was I supposed to say these prayers before leaving church and driving over to DSW Shoe Warehouse where I finally found canvas Keds sneakers in my size? Was I supposed to complete them before watching episodes five through eight from the third season of "Desperate Housewives" while scarfing down sugar free chocolate pudding made with Lactaid milk? Well, I didn't.

I'm waiting for something to sort of reveal the right time and place. Veni, Sancte Spiritus.

I Confess...

Well, I've finally gotten around to reading, "Evangelicals' new twist on Lent," which appeared in The Washington Post on March 8 and notes a growing interest in "Confession" among evangelical Protestants.

Call me old-fashioned, but I like that the Prots call it "Confession." I've never understood why so many Catholics insist on calling it the "sacrament of Reconciliation" when, in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, "sacrament of Confession" is listed before "sacrament of Reconciliation" under the heading, "What is This Sacrament Called?" (CCC 1423-1424).

Even setting aside my legalism in this instance, the change in terminology eludes me. How can something be reconciled if it isn't first disclosed? How can something be disclosed if it's not first perceived? Is it that the word "confession" skeeves Catholic of a certain age? Is it that the word "reconciliation" seems so much more gentle and merciful?

I say we should call it "Confession" and thank Almighty God that it isn't called the "sacrament of Conscious Awareness Before Owning Our Cr@p." How many people would show up to celebrate that?