12 Step Recovery: Using Social Media to Work Step 12 (especially with Church people)

Step Twelve

"Having had a spiritual awakening
as the result of these steps,

we tried to carry this message to alcoholics,

and to practice these principles in all our affairs."

God only knows what Bill W. and anyone else involved with writing The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions would have included had the Internet been invented by 1952. Until now, I haven't spent a lot of time contemplating this counter-factual. Now, thanks to ongoing situations and recent events, I'm pondering how social media might be used as tool for recovery.

Some situations have been on my radar for the 5+ years I've been actively engaged with (contemporary) social media. On Twitter this includes observing circling-the-drain behavior that sometimes shows up as a near-constant stream about what the person is hoping to drink, is drinking (while posting increasingly incoherent tweets), or drank.

On rare occasions, I've seen people in this category tweet about feeling crappy the next day without connecting the dots between feeling that and their drinking. I've also observed the swift segue into defensive public outrage when their public blahblahblah is questioned as…questionable.

Crash-and-splash landings also show up as ever-increasing amounts of chaos, conflict, moodiness, outrage, and grandiosity in public tweets. Believe me, I've been in recovery long enough to know this is a reliable indication that either a whole lot of out-of-control drinking is going on, or someone in recovery is on a dry drunk.

Because I'm disproportionately involved with church people (i.e., clergy, lay leadership, seminarians), I cannot help but notice tweets from those who are "giving up alcohol for Lent!" and who then spend 40 days posting about the agony of having done so – not as a joke, but as true distress.

Yes, there are church people who are active drunks.*

Let's get real: A call to ministry neither magically nor mysteriously exempts anyone from alcoholism. There have always been church people wreaking havoc in and around church-the-building because of their addictions; no surprise they'd do so online as well. (For the record, I do not believe drinking is inherently evil and that anyone who drinks is destined for alcoholism.)

Relative to events, I've become aware (over the past decade-ish) of the frequency with which high-profile authors write about their addiction and recovery. Yeah, I know, Hazelden published my book about recovery and my name is on it, so what's my issue? 

No issue per se, just noting how it's no longer considered a violation of Traditions 11 and 12 to write about recovery in memoirs. True turning point for me: reading Pastor Nadia Bolz-Weber's new book, Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner and Saintas well as #grateful tweets from readers who identify with her story. I gotta believe some great percentage are clergy who either are or need to get clean and sober.

And so here I am, someone with double-digit recovery called to digital ministry, offering these suggestions for using social media to work Step 12 and maintain hard-earned sobriety

• Use the tools of social media to minister to those who are acting out on social media, especially the "back channel" (i.e., direct messages on Twitter, private messages on Facebook); also links to informative, educational resources. 

• Pull screen shots (or maybe create a Storify?!?) of (wet/dry) drunk tweets to document what's going on, then email them to the person. Think of this as a virtual intervention which, like face-to-face interventions may/may not work. As we know, people do not sober up because other people beg or threaten. 

• Become sensitive to Program language encoded in tweets and reach out to find others in recovery. Send a back channel note asking, "Are you a friend of Bill W.?" and then if they are, consider them your online go-to people for near real-time support and accountability.

• Either block or remove from view (e.g., in a Tweetdeck or Hootsuite column) people whose acting out puts your serenity and therefore sobriety at risk.

• Add tweets and Facebook posts to practicing "restraint of tongue and pen." And you'll screw that up, so remember to add online activity to your Step Ten practice of taking a personal inventory and promptly admitting wrongs.

• In addition to being a "walking copy of the Big Book," become a cyber one.

FWIW, recovery seems to unfold online as it does "in the rooms." I've seen people hit Step Zero ("This shit has to stop.) and eventually get to Step One ("We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable."). I've watched days get counted, pink clouds get floated upon, more crap hit the fan o' life, slips happen, and support provided.

In the world of church, I've seen all this lead to people leaving churches for healthier environments, or leaving active ministry altogether. And although I've never taken the time to tweet the entire Serenity Prayer, it certainly comes to mind and heart whenever I see Program support being played out online.

* For some, alcoholism is biochemical, for others it’s psycho-spiritual; for most it’s a blend of all these factors and more. In the end, havoc is havoc and wreckage is wreckage.

     

About that First Encyclical Letter from Pope Francis . . .

Do you see what I see?

How about now?

The Social Media Gospel: My Author Copies Arrive!

Of course I'd shoot a Vine video

of opening the carton

 of author copies!

 

And the thrill of doing so has not faded, nor have 

I become jaded about the gift of being able to write

and work with great publishers. Blessed by my

experience with the Liturgical Press team.

Lent 2013 Begins

But yes to social media if it brings you closer to God and deeper into community. I talk about all that in this dotMagis post from last year about "giving up" social media for Lent.

Habemus Book Title! The Social Media Gospel: Sharing the Good News . . .

The Social Media Gospel: 

Sharing the Good News in New Ways

forthcoming July 2013*

from Liturgical Press**

How many Christians did it take to come up with this book title? Lots! But that's because I'm:

1. deeply committed to working ecumenically, 
2. use social media to engage with people from all denominations, and 
3. understand the power of crowd-sourcing.

In some instances as many as three folks from these denominations opined about title options: Episcopal Church USA, Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ECLA), Presbyterian Church USA, PCA Presbyterian, Roman Catholic Church, and United Methodist Church.

This note from the publisher, "Wooooo hooooo! And I love your Vatican II ecumenical process!"

Some good titles landed on the proverbial cutting room floor, but these things happen when majority rules. All glory, honor, and praise to those whose #1 choice wasn't chosen.

More to come about the book's content (e.g., excerpts) and how to pre-order. You already know that I'd love to visit your church, right? More information about what I offer at my website: meredithgould.com.

* Unless, by some miracle, the production process gets goosed.

** On my publishing bucket list for years.

To Illustrate the Previous Post

First she left great comments on yesterday's post, then Philomena Ewing, who blogs all sorts of glorious stuff at Blue Eyed Ennis, sent a link to this 'toon. Thanks for providing such a fine illustration, Phil!

Life As a Clergy Wife: Language, Please

Of course we had to discuss the clergy thing, the clergy spouse thing, and the ecumenism thing during our courtship and engagement. No cozy combative chats about china patterns, flatware, or linens for us.

Our conversations swirled around such topics as open communion, apostolic succession, and whether Nicaea or Trent caused a bigger mess. And it was not usual for me to hear sentences from my future husband start with the words, "In our tradition..."

In response, I'd roll my eyes and make snotty pointed comments about the durability of his Roman Catholic upbringing and education. His predictable response, "I'm still catholic, just not Roman Catholic."

In response, I'd roll my eyes again and usually default to my equally predictable harangue about being Jewish and how Christians ought to get smarter about that tradition. Truly a miracle the man married me.

What I should have paid more attention to and didn't at the time, was not the content but the construction of the phrase, "In our tradition..."

Fast forward and I'm now acutely aware of how often my beloved uses words like "whilst"  and "methinks" during normal, daily conversation. Methinks "whilst" comes with the Anglican territory, which is pretty hilarious because he thinketh Rite I with all its thee's, thou's, etcetera is "theologically bankrupt."

I pretty much let it flow by me...until I cannot abide it anymore, as was recently the case when I sent this text message:

"When are you coming home?"

and received this:

"We are to be done at noon."

In response, I rolled my eyes whilst texting back:

"We are TO BE DONE at noon?!? Get away from those people. Come home immediately."

I should have added:

"Thou art trying my patience with thine overwrought language."

Yea, verily.

An Author's Life: Beginning Again Again*

This post has been on my list of Posts to Write for a while, but before hunkering down tonight, I had to do one more thing. I reread all previous ones tagged "author" to get a sense of my own twisted history. Sentimental journey, for sure.

Four years ago, I invoked the pregnancy metaphor to write about book dedications and the ridiculousness (read: stupidity) of writing one book after another.

Such a great metaphor, here it is again: Having recently endured two book miscarriages, I needed to wait a few months before announcing that I'm expecting a new book to be out this Spring. It will be my ninth.

I wanted to wait until a mutually-acceptable contract was signed (done!), until I'd connected with my new editor (done!), and until I'd gotten far enough into writing to fall in love with this new manuscript, even when it's giving me heartburn and sleepless nights. Manuscript due: January 1, 2013. Publisher: Liturgical Press. Working title: Building Church and Faith With Social Media: Embracing a Future That's Already Here.

So there you have it, news about this author's life as well as an explanation for skimpy posting on this blog.

Had to laugh (at myself) as I read through my previous posts about my writing rituals. Yes, my nails are once again clipped down to power-typing length and our refrigerator is stocked with salami. For this book I've switched from Diet Cream to Diet Orange soda; from Cheez Doodles to corn chips. This change in protocol seems to be working so far.



*I've stopped numbering these posts for two reasons: 1) I've lost count; and 2) I stink at Roman numerals.

Lost in Translation: Churchy Church Language

So everyone who reads my stuff knows I work ecumenically, right?

Yes, I spend lots of real & cyber-time hanging out with clergy and lay leadership from lots of church denominations, mainly (or is that mainline) these: ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church of America), Episcopal Church, USA, Presbyterian Church (USA), and United Methodist Church.

This also means I spend some percentage of time engaged in simultaneous translation because, gee, let's not all use the same terms for everything. One Body? Hell no! Not even one brain. Certainly not one voice with a language system to go with it.

For example, I recently learned that instead of using the term "Eucharistic Adoration" like Roman Catholics, Anglo-Catholic Episcopalians use the term "Benediction of the Blessed Sacrament."  I don't know why and, quite frankly at this point, I don't want to know why. I've developed zero tolerance for churchy church language that reifies divisions among Christians.

Yesterday I went on Twitter to ask if there was any agreement about using the term "Altar Guild" for the committee that fusses with flowers, altar linens, candles, menorot, pew kneelers, and all that.

Lo and behold, remarkable unanimity among "high church" Protestants: Altar Guild!

Catholics call it the Altar Society.

More clear? No, just different.

For the sake of Christian unity, I say we simply agree to call it the Prom Committee.

My Latest Video: Don't Be That Church II: We Need a New Website

For those of you who follow my adventures in and around the world of church communications, here's a copy of a video I recently created. OK, yesterday. I created it yesterday evening using XtraNormal, a fabulous text-to-movie program and then posted it to YouTube.

Also posted it to my #ChSocM (church social media) blog earlier today and have received all sorts of amusing and disturbing responses via the back channel from church folk who don't want to share their angst in public.

I, on the other hand, seem willing and able to do just that . . . share my angst in public. Would this be different if I were still on a parish staff? Perhaps. I guess that would depend on how badly I wanted to stay on the payroll.

Without further ado or boo-hoo:

Go Fish (Friday, April 20)

Today, I'm giving a plenary session at the annual meeting of CODE (Conference for Diocesan Executives). Around since 1963, this is a group of lay and ordained people who serve at the senior level of a bishop's staff.  An Episcopal bishop's staff.

Last year, CODE met in Hawaii. This year, they're meeting in Baltimore. I just finished watching "The Descendants" and am fine with not going to Hawaii.

What's my topic? Social media, of course!

About the Skimpy Posting

Well, I hope you're enjoying my Go Fish series, cleverly scheduled for Fridays during Lent. I'm enjoying searching for and posting the images.

Am I ever going back to written posts? Of course! In fact, I've been writing lots of 'em -- for other blogs. Here are some you might find interesting:

• On The Virtual Abbey blog, Due for a Change or Maybe Complete Transformation, is about what's happening with our beloved virtual community.

• On the ChSocM (church social media) blog, Virtual Community & Social Media: It Takes a (Global) Village and What Else? poses some critical questions about whether additional or different community-development skills are needed for online communities. 

• On the Mayo Clinic Center for Social Media blog, Pinterest for Health is a Beautiful Thing . . . Literally, suggests that art has value for healing body, mind, and spirit.

• On dotMagis, the blog of Ignatian Spirituality, I'm three questions into a blog-alogue with Jim Manney  about using social media. The most recent one, about what Ignatius would have done with social media, was thought-provoking fun to answer.

• On Lent Madness, I've advocated for several saints and one of them, Mary Magdalene, has made it to the Elate Eight. I'm especially happy with the post I wrote that helped her trounce Joan of Arc.

So, yes, I've been writing! I've also been preparing for upcoming presentations and workshops. I'm thrilled that church social media is finally becoming worthy of attention by church leadership and delighted that I get to continue my adventures in healthcare social media. 

I'm scheduled to talk about and train folks about social media during these events:

• Archdeacons & Formation Directors Conference (Association for Episcopal Deacons) in Baltimore, MD on March 23.
• Social Media Residency Program (Mayo Clinic Center for Social Media) in Jacksonville, FL on March 28-29.
• Conference on Diocesan Executives (CODE) in Annapolis, MD on April 20.
• ELCA Southwestern Synod Assembly in Vancouver, WA on May 19 -- preceded by a week of consulting with a group of Seattle-based clergy and lay leadership.
• Baltimore Nonprofit Leaders Circles Annual Forum in Baltimore, MD on June 20.

Meanwhile, Go Fish . . . on Fridays!

Not giving up social media for Lent . . .

...and not giving up Twitter or LinkedIn and especially not Pinterest. In fact, I'm planning to spend even more time on Pinterest, pinning sacred images that support my Lenten journey.

Some people get all in everyone's face about giving up social media for Lent. A few years ago, I would have agreed with them about how futzing around online can be a distracting time-suck.

Much has changed in the years that Facebook (8), Twitter (5), and Pinterest (> 1) have been around. These days there are lots of great reasons for making social media use an integral part of Lenten devotions. My thoughts about this are trotted out in more detail in today's Blogalogue question on dotMagis, where editor Jim Manney asked me about giving up social media for Lent. You can read it here.

Imagine my surprise to wake up to a  news story about Pope Benedict XVI (or his team on his behalf) getting involved with tweeting during Lent. Looks like we finally agree on something in addition to loving cats and the music of J.S. Bach.

Friday (Final) Stop on the Blog Tour for Getting #Married

Whew, it's Friday! And this week's virtual book tour has featured interviews all over the blogosphere. Today's interview about Getting #Married: Using Social Media to Celebrate the Sacred is on the New Media Project's blog. You can read it here.

Another set of great and different questions, including one about what benefits I'd hoped to gain by using social media so extensively. But my favorite question from these folks was this: "Did you use social media on your honeymoon, too?"

Read the interview to find out my answer!

Getting tired of the shameless self-promotion of my new book? Hang in there! Back to regular blogging -- whatever the h-e-double hockey stix that is -- next week. Just be grateful I'm not an NPR station bombarding you with pleas for money every 15 minutes!

Welcome to the Blogosphere: Teach What You Believe

Does the Catholic blogosphere need yet another blog? Since the new blogger is being launched by Deacon Jim Knipper (@jjknipper), I'm going to say yes.

Teach What you Believe, arriving on the scene as we proclaim Gaudete on this third Sunday in Advent, promises "musings, commentary, and other thought fodder from a Roman Catholic Deacon." I don't have to see a lot of content in advance to know that this blog will be informative, inspirational, and amusing.

I've known Jim for over a decade in the world of church as well as the healthcare industry. Not only was I blessed to attend his ordination to the deaconate in 2008, but I had a great seat. Jim gave the rockin' amazing homily at my wedding, so if he does nothing more than post links to his homilies, his blog will be great. Please join me in welcoming him to the blogosphere.

Quote du Jour (Religion Department)

I'm pulling a quote from an article posted on a National Catholic Register blog. I found Matthew Warner's post,"The Catholic Church Is out of Control..." remarkable for several reasons, beginning with the first word: "They."

Now I readily admit that I, too, have a lot of trouble with pronouns, but that's because I still consider myself a Jew by identity. Depending on conversational content, I can't always muster a "we" when talking about Catholics. But that's not the most remarkable aspect of Warner's post. I'm surprised by the fervor with which he makes a case for 21st century conversation, transparency, and authenticity.

Should come as no surprise to any of my readers that I am passionate about the importance and value of using social media to communicate church and faith. I view social media as an unexpected and democratizing phenomenon in the form of technology, which is why I'm pulling this quote:




Yet, we [the Roman Catholic church] still have a lot of leadership who think that PR stands for Press Release and that “opting out” of the social web is the “safe thing to do.” It’s not safe at all. It’s perilous.

They worry that if they open up comments on their website or start a Facebook page or open up online communities where people can express themselves within a church forum, that somebody might say something mean. Or theologically incorrect. Or hateful. Or *gasp* something about how there are sinners in the Church.

Guess what? They are already saying those things. Every day. Every where. The problem right now is that the Church is largely not a part of the conversation—because it chooses not to be. So whatever control it could have, it foregoes.

Those challenging conversations are going to happen, just as they always have. The question for the Church is do we want to be a part of the conversation? And the answer is that we have a moral obligation to be.

─ Matthew Warner

The Pope tweets, sort of . . .

Yesterday's big news: Pope Benedict XVI's first tweet, launching the website where Vatican news will be aggregated and available, News.va. 

Brilliant PR maneuver. Really! Not being snarky!!

By mid-afternoon, I'd already had several public and back
channel conversations about this on Twitter.  Later that evening, I was  in conversation with The Daily reporter, Carl Franzen (@CarlFranzen) whose article, "Tweet Heavens!" rolled out this morning. 

Things move very quickly via social media, which is more than I can generally say for my beloved church. You do know that joke about responsiveness within the Roman Catholic church, right? "We'll get back to you in 400 years."

Franzen nicely captures my view about the trajectory of this "news," so I hope you'll read his article. It's blessedly short. What space did not permit there was my riff about the tension between what is symbolic and what is real, which is this: 

Let's get real, the Holy Father did not and probably will not be crafting tweets. And this is not "cheating" or "lying" or "disingenuous." This is the reality of issuing communications by and from a high ranking church official.


Although my experience in church communications is primarily within and for the Catholic church, I say with all confidence that it's not unusual for leadership in all denominations to rely on the skills and smarts of communications professionals.

Be assured that those of us called upon to (holy) ghost write for archbishops, bishops, and parish-level clergy view this use of our talents as a great privilege.

Our work is generally vetted up the cleric food chain, often with Canon lawyers weighing in. The tweet issued by the Pope was innocuous enough to sail through the process. 

I say that tweet, no matter who wrote it, had great symbolic value. Who knows what will show up next? Should be real interesting.

Quote du Jour (Religion Department)

H/T to Rocco Palmo at Whispers in the Loggia, Fr. Austin Fleming at A Concord Pastor Comments, and Philomena Ewing at Blue Eyed Ennis who posted longer excerpts from a piece about the Vatican-sponsored meeting for bloggers on May 2.

The full article appeared in L'Osservatore Romano on May 22, 2011. Here's what caught my attention and to which I immodestly respond with, "Here I am, Rome, please choose the path of listening to Catholics like me!"
 

Let us seek, then, to reflect on the ideas raised in this dialogue, even the most suggestive, interesting and even slightly provocative, to highlight the necessity of not letting this meeting of bloggers remain only one event to be consigned to the annals of history, but that it becomes the first step of a long path of listening to the many people who wish to speak with us.

─  Cardinal Gianfranco Ravasi, President of the Pontifical Council for Culture

About that Vatican Blogger Meet-Up on May 2

Follow-up to my post appearing here on May 4, 2011:

I'm going ahead with this post now but it should come as no surprise that I could spend more time contemplating what came through the public Twitter stream when bloggers met at the Vatican (#VBM11).

Life in the church being what it is, many of the Roman Catholic bloggers I respect are now embroiled (read: skewered and barbequed) in the latest poop-storm. Which one? The one about whether there's any Biblical, scriptural or historical basis for women's ordination to the diaconate. I've opted-out of that conversation, my neuro-immune system cannot handle it.*

For some strange reason, possibly the fact that I earn my so-called living as a communications professional, I do have enough oomph to continue discussing church communications in general and social media in particular.

Assuming a baseline of good intentions and deep desire to serve God and Christ among all participants, I wish to point out to the Holy See (via the Pontifical Council for Social Communications) that social media, by definition, are:

• community-based, generated and sustained;
• inherently democratic and highly participatory;
• more tactically and technologically diverse than blogs; and
• an opportunity to revive  and restore respect for the priesthood of all believers.

Instead of worrying about who is or is not faithful to the Magisterium, I prayerfully suggest we use social media wisely and well to:

•  reveal and be Christ to one another;
• deliver the Gospel message of love, mercy and forgiveness;
• represent the Catholic imagination with sanity and civility; and
• welcome everyone and anyone to the fullness of life in Christ.

Amen?

May I also rouse an "alleluia" or is that pushing it?


* If your neuro-immune system can handle it, then by all means, go read comments on Deacon Greg Kandra's blog, The Deacon's Bench, relative to this topic. The anger, venom, and sheer stupidity evident in far-too-many of the comments is staggering. These are my brothers in Christ? God, help me.